Dear Ones,
A few weeks ago, while attending the House of Bishops meeting in Kanuga, I sent out via Facebook, a list of questions for young adults. The House was taking up the same questions and so I wondered what responses I would get. They are amazing and although I had permission from almost all of them, to publish their names, in this post I have chosen to just give the responses.
There are over 8000 words here, so if you have to decide look at the last three responses. It is worth the read, and as we have taken up the idea of “goodness” you, I think, will find some here and also some good ideas and sobering thoughts for us as a church.
Blessings,
+Greg
1. What are some of your interests?
Being with my family, working with youth, hiking and exploring, music and reading
Ending poverty, ending violence, sci-fi, hip-hop, pop culture, and eating. Eating a lot.
I read voraciously. I have a special passion for young adult novels and science fiction/fantasy written by people of color and women. And social justice blogs.
I love movies, especially old movies and animated movies.
I love music and am forever maxing out my holds in the Portland, OR, library system to get new good music. I listen to hip-hop mostly, but also love riot grrl, 60’s girl groups, old blues, real gospel music, a little punk, and protest music.
I'm an introvert, so to calm my mind I need silence, and to be alone in my house. I love to cook or to clean - to give my hands a task while I sort through the day with God, offering up little prayers and little bits and pieces of everything from the day - anger, frustration, bleakness. I pray like the Jesuits taught me - praying with whatever is actually happening.
Exercise.
Hiking, exploring wild places, cycling, writing, cooking, local food initiatives, place-based education, community-based conservation, supporting and nurturing community
I'm interested in literature, history, world culture, and DIY projects.
) For activities I like: boating, baseball/softball, biking. For intellectual stimulation I like: boat design, some small scale wood construction, a bit of gardening/urban farming.
I'm a doctoral student in theology, with interests in world Christianity, ecumenism, and interfaith relations. I care deeply about global affairs, but am generally cynical about politics. I am somewhat involved in activism, particularly around issues of poverty and peace, but in general I'm more of a contemplative than an activist, and I feel called to pray for the world and to quietly keep picking up the broken pieces more than advocating for political change.
Baking. Babies. Pretty words. (Not in that order.) Learning things.
Golf. Tennis. Painting. Watching plays. Improv comedy. Anything with children. Listening to music. Cooking shows.
reading, number puzzles, playing with my kids, giving/serving others
I love theology, world religion, social activism. Mary Oliver poetry. Doctor Who. The outdoors and environmentalism. I am in love with the Oxford Movement and anglo-catholic socialism. I love the emerging church movement, but I get frustrated by their redundancy: the Episcopal Church IS and has been Emerging. Nothing new. I love radical theology, theology that transforms the world. I love Church history, and history in general. I love language and linguistics. I study french society in the 20th century, because it is such an interesting comparison with the US.
Two of my biggest interests are architecture and religion. Not a lot of people find this as exciting as me, but I tend to visit older churches and check out the insides if possible. I also like visiting places like the Seattle Central Library, and Smith Tower, they (and tons of other Seattle buildings) are beautiful. As a Comparative Religion student, visiting and experiencing various expressions of Christianity and other religious traditions is also very compelling. Besides these I'm interested in coffee, writing, running, and (secretly) Star Wars.
Friends, family, nature
I don't have time to pursue all the things that interest me. At the top of the list would be Cultural anthropology, astronomy, and music.
Kayaking, biking, outdoor activities in general, food and wine, travel.
I love reading (and writing about reading), playing video games, watching things on Netflix, cooking, spending time with friends and family, yoga, playing various musical instruments
Spending time with family and friends.
I'm interested in knitting, yoga, being outdoors biking/hiking/padling/climbing, reading, and teaching reluctant high school readers.
Playing World of Warcraft.
Roller derby, ice hockey; sports, in general (watching, not playing).
Reading theology, taking long walks with my husband, cooking, netflix-ing.
Food (eating, not preparing).
Being outside.
Equality of human beings -- for women; for sexual, racial, ethnic, and linguistic minorities; for immigrants and migrants; for the differently abled.
Politics, theology, church politics, etc.
Linguistics (don't get me started on this one--I'll talk your ear off ).
2. What do you do with your free time?
I have to carve out "free time" since I'm a mother of two.
I enjoy camping with my family and exploring new places with my kids.
If I have some "alone" time I enjoy going to bookstores or relaxing in a hot bath with book and wine.
. I volunteer for a welfare rights organization that serves/is run by mostly low-income single moms. I teach free classes at my church on scripture, early Christianity, and theology and social justice. I volunteer as a Sunday school teacher for a predominantly Latin@ congregation in my community. I read fiction. And I explore food—in depth.
I read, do yoga, go to the gym and disappear into People magazine while on the elliptical, clean, cook, hang out with my amazing partner, take walks and spend time alone. I’ll only leave the house for events for things like concerts/shows (which are always on Saturdays, of course, so I spend a few blurry 5:30 a.m. Sunday mornings per year trying to scrub the club stamp from the inside of my wrist and checking my face for remains of glitter eyeliner before scurrying to church for the 7:30 a.m. service) or good spoken word events, usually someplace like an independent bookstore or the feminist bookstore, or the Red and Black Café in Portland.
Write, read, hike/walk/explore, cycle, create art, meditate, grow food, meals with friends, family, go to the movies
. I'm involved in my church, in my free time I read, spend time with family and friends, and sometimes work on craft projects.
Mostly play video games and watch TV when not working on professional development.
During the summers I teach at a seminary in Iraq. I raise goats. I learn dead ecclesiastical languages. I travel and play with medieval manuscripts all over the world. I love hanging out with nuns. Nuns are awesome.
Bake, consume/share, repeat. Also read and I guess the answer to this depends on how you define free time. I nanny - by choice, but it does mean the time isn't free, really. Also like that, I hang out with the immigrants in my town a lot and write.
.
Paint. Hang out with friends. Watch movies. Go on runs/walks
play with my kids, facebook, getting outside to do stuff, spend time with friends, playing games
Go for walks, hikes, smoke a pipe, run. I spend a lot of time on the internet, researching everything. I listen to a lot of music. I read: news, books, magazines, poetry. I write in my journal.
I really enjoy exploring Seattle (as I mentioned above); checking out local parks and hole-in-the-wall restaurants can be a blast too. Discovering and supporting local coffee shops, and trying the various blends and specialty drinks from these places is another of my favorite hobbies. When it's nice out long-boarding is a great way to spend free time, and so is volleyball, frisbee, etc.
Sailing, kayaking, dinner and/or pubs with friends, walking down and up hills, over-using my IPhone, talking on the phone to friends and family around country and world (thank God for Skype), reading biographies.
I sew everything my son wears! (haven't had to buy clothing or diapers in months!). Read. Garden. Make music with my cello.
Read, bike, kayak, and try to do some creative stuff as well. Cook.
See the above.
Spend time with family and friends.
Do housework.
Play World of Warcraft.
Attend roller derby events.
What free time?! I'm a grad student! See above. Also, working with students at the church
I spend time with friends and my dog. I also play music in an Appalachian string band with my family.
Eat out.
Participate in the political process through voting, working as an election official, volunteering for political campaigns, contacting my elected representatives, etc.
Read, especially non-fiction these days.
3. To what extent do you consider yourself a spiritual person?
More "spiritual" these past few years after the passing of my daughter Mychaela. I meditate more, have debated and struggled more on who is "God", the afterlife, etc.
. I am a deeply spiritual person. No, wait, not spiritual—religious. I am a deeply religious person.
If that question means “how much time do you spend staring piously into space”, then not very much. There’s that facebook group called, “I’m Religious, Not Spiritual” and I have some sympathy for that sentiment. I find the “I’m spiritual, but not interested in organized religion” trope among people in the Pacific Northwest to be really tedious and exhausting. It typically only means “I know it would be shallow of me to not have any sense of myself as a person whose life is connected to a greater meaning, but I refuse to do any of the boring actual work around that, like being with people and being in relationship. I would prefer to just think about myself all the time and my journaling and my therapy and the infinite permutations of my own navel lint.”
I don't feel a strong identification with the word "spiritual." When I think about what I am and what I do in my own head, I just think this: "I practice."
very much - i experience holiness through nature, wild places, and people
Spirituality is an important part of my life.
There are times when I feel I'm not doing enough outside of being a Sunday Morning Christian. I'm working on developing a daily routine which incorporates a daily quiet time for whatever purposes I feel it needs to be that day.
To a very great extent. Although my parents are not religious, I was fascinated by religion as a child and always believed in God. I flirted with Islam and spent several years seriously exploring conversation to Judaism, but finally became a Christian when studying abroad in Egypt, and I was baptized and confirmed in the Episcopal Church when I was an undergraduate. I'm ultimately hoping to become an Episcopal nun.
I'm not sure. I think about this a lot. I'm a pretty religious person, definitely, and I guess I tie spirituality in with things I do like writing, but I don't have some huge feeling of God all the time. Does this make sense? I'm really great with God in a head sense but that doesn't mean I feel the Holy Spirit breathing on my shoulders just because I'm praying and God's nice.
I consider myself a spiritual person. I believe in the morals and teachings of the bible, however I do not interpret the stories literally. I pray when I am at church, and feel God most at random moments in my everyday life.
I try to be spiritual in all I do - the way I treat people, the way I do my job, and the . I guess what this really means to me is that I imagine all the people I meet are Jesus and act accordingly - be kind, be fair, be pleasant, have patience when things don't go the way I want or expect, forgive, speak my mind, stand up for myself and others, and in general be a 'good' person. This is easier said than done (especially when I feel as though people aren't treating me the same way), but interacting face to face with Jesus would mean I have high expectations for myself - that I would act as Jesus acts.
Completely, although I identify very strongly as both spiritual and religious. I think our culture's obsession with separating the two is naive. Religion is the practice of one's spirituality. If you are spiritual and not religious it means you don't practice anything. I attend mass every Sunday. I am currently discerning the call to the priesthood.
I'd say I've become more spiritual over the last year or so. I went through a phase where I would have called myself spiritual but not religious, however I've started to realize that good "religion" facilitates spirituality and relationship with God.
Spiritual AND religious
"spiritual" is a tricky word and I tend to stay away from it. What is "spiritual" anyway??? For many people the word may conjure images of a prudish person wearing a golden cross necklace, shunning alcohol and never far from a trendy cloth covered bible. And for others the word is tossed out followed by the phrase "but not religious" and could mean anything from passive agnostic beliefs to naked dancing on the shores of a mountain lake, waving moonstone wands in the air while chanting in Sanskrit. So, after having done all of the above (no exaggeration), I try to live simply, be normal, and focus on the trinity of any religion: pray, love, forgive. Is that spiritual? I guess. It's also just plain good psychology. I don't know if anyone could truly dustinguish between healthy psychological practices or spiritual practices- and I don't think it even matters. Does that answer the question?
To a large extent...I don't always go to church but I attend regularly, try to stay active in the congregation, and have been on mission trips. I pray regularly, and I try to be a mindful and thoughtful Christian.
I don’t like to use the word spiritual to define people, in my experience it has been used to bludgeon people into practices with which they aren’t comfortable, or to confer “superiority” upon the person who identifies themselves as spiritual. I would instead define myself as religious or as faithful. I feel very spiritual. I care deeply about my faith and try to live my values through a life of service. This requires, for me, a constant prayer life and understanding that we are living in "Enemy-occupied territory" as C.S. Lewis says.
I consider myself to be quite spiritual, but in some ways I am uncomfortable with that term. I think "spiritual" is often, but not always, used by people who are afraid to use the word "religious." I do not only think about matters of faith as an academic exercise; rather, I mean that I think about how my religious beliefs inform my behavior. I think that my personal spiritual practice, in terms of prayer or bible study, is weak. I feel that my attempts to live in line with my religious beliefs, however, are strong and ever-growing.
Absolutely think of myself as a spiritual person. But I think I probably interpret that word differently to other people my age. I think everyone is spiritual. Whether they know it or not. Being spiritual is about being open to the world (and thus, to God) and finding out/co-creating who you are made to be. It is about integrity and the desire to grow.
4. Did you grow up in a religiously observant family?
Yes
Yes—I was raised a PK in a Methodist household. I left church as a teenager because I was bored, not safe there as an openly queer person, and sick of being sermon fodder as the pastor’s kid
No. I grew up in what felt like the only atheist/agnostic Democratic family in all of Yakima County, Washington.
yes!
Yes, and (a) I go to church weekly, and read a bible passage and reflection most days.
Yes, I attended First Baptist Church of Bothell throughout my formative years (K-12, now Crosspointe Church). My father traveled quite a bit growing up so my mother was primarily responsible for our upbringing and spiritual education.
My parents were not religious, my grandparents were Pentecostal, and I attended Lutheran Church Missouri Synod schools for 10 years. (This is a good recipe for "how to raise a spiritually tormented child"!)
Um yes.
went to church a couple of times with my grandparents; however I feel as though my strongest connection to religion started when I was around 10 years old. The connection was through my mom, who was and remains a strong member of the church. My dad and sister mainly attend church on major holidays.
Yes
Yes. I grew up non-denominational evangelical. My parents go to a Vineyard Fellowship.
Yep, sure did. Grew up in the Church of Christ, and migrated to an Evangelical non-denominational church at about age 13. Since coming to the UW I've branched out a little bit and explored some different expressions of Christianity
3 school chapel services a week plus Sunday morning Eucharist plus listening to Compline on KingFM on Sunday evenings. Prayers and grace every day and lots of conversations about God. So yes!
Very Mormon- as Mormon as you can get. Family from Provo Utah. My parents attended byu, married in the temple. I attended three hours of church on Sunday, "fireside talks" on Sunday night, family home evening on Monday, visiting teachers on Tuesday, youth group on Wednesday, and sometimes a church service project and dance on Saturday. They keep you too busy to sin! ;-) and---scripture study every weekday morning at 5a.m. with other church high schoolers. It was exhausting.
Yes, my parents were and are in the Society of Friends. They also practice Zen Buddhism.
If so, what if any spiritual practices do you maintain?
Advent wreath at home
. In terms of my own spiritual practices today—I have dedicated my entire life to justice for the poor and oppressed, I attend church, I study the scriptures, I tithe, and I pray often (I use the rosary for my biggest prayer concerns).
The gifts of my upbringing were many. My dogmatically atheist father taught me that authority is always earned, never given (a useful yet difficult life philosophy if one is to survive in the Episcopal Church). He taught me to challenge even the smallest of unjust rules. For example, in the 6th grade, my middle school had a dress code that said “No shorts can be worn between Halloween and Spring Break.” This being the early 90’s, I was rocking cutoff jeans worn with tights, scrunchy socks, and huge sweatshirts. I was completely covered and yet in violation of the dress code (the code neglected to mention skirts, so 12-year-old girls were wearing tiny miniskirts with nary a reprimand). Despite warnings from my teachers that I would be called to the office, I continued to wear shorts to school, because it was a ridiculous rule. They even put a warning on the morning announcements about it, just for me: if ANYONE is caught wearing shorts tomorrow to school, they will be sent right to the principal's office. (This must have been enjoyable for my mom, who was a teacher at my school at that time.) So of course I wear shorts to school the next day, they pull me out of class, and call my dad. He stormed right into the office, gave the principal a good talking-to, and then proceeded to ask the office staff for a phone book and the list of names of people on the School Board. He then looks up the home addresses of all the School Board members, takes me out of school and to each School Board member's house, showing them that I am decently dressed, not a hazard or a distraction in any way, and that it's absurd to have this nonsense dress code that means that his daughter is out of class on a school day just for wearing what she's wearing. They changed the dress code at the next meeting. I love my dad.
My dad also told me he would buy whatever books I wanted from the Women's Studies section of the bookstore, starting in middle school, which meant that I went into middle school equipped with Sisterhood is Powerful, hippie feminist poetry, and a lot of anger. It helped me a lot. I was surrounded by furious, conservative Christians – I came home crying many, many days in elementary and middle school after getting in yet another screaming fight with some self-righteous pastor’s kid who claimed that women who had had abortions were now burning in hell for all eternity. I followed the Anita Hill case devotedly in the 6th grade, starting to understand that the creepy gender politics at work on the playground were going to continue into my adult life. My parents took me to see plays, showed me movies, taught me good science, and gave me the information I needed to the fight the good fight.
I don't hear stories about parents like this from people who grew up in Christian homes.
church every sunday, prayer, appreciating nature, mindfulness
) I wouldn't say that FBC imprinted any regular practices that I must maintain. The longest standing impression, in contrast to practices of the Episcopal Church, was how frequently we took Eucharist and the seriousness around that event.
None from childhood, but I pray the daily office (Rite 1 !) and attend daily mass (Anglican missal !) I have a long-suffering confessor and spiritual director for whom I am profoundly thankful.
I go to church and pray and write and feed people.
I maintain going to church when I can, and God is on my mind from time to time, especially during the most obscure of instances.
services on our own from the prayer book, compline, praying before meals
Maintain? That's difficult, because spiritual practices weren't necessarily taught to me, not in the traditional sense of practices. I pray regularly. I believe very strongly in the power of prayer, especially prayer together. I maintain bible study (once a week). I attend mass every Sunday, and during Lent and Advent lead evening prayer.
For a few years now I've been pretty constant about journaling, praying, and reading the bible. More recently I've started fasting, reading common prayer, and observing aspects of the church calendar.
If so, what if any spiritual practices do you maintain? Walking the labyrinth in my neighborhood- it has gotten me through a lot. I have a routine I have maintained: I walk it in both directions three times and while entering the center with the 6-sided rosette I think of 1) 6 things I am grateful for, 2) 6 prayers, 3) a progressive 6 steps that leads me to a place that I can either let go or to a place of greater wisdom.
Pray. Love. Forgive.
As a part of my gradual departure from the LDS church, i attended a catholic college. There I leaned the soothing, medatitive value of
liturgy- I Learned that one can embrace traditional religious practices without following a complicated (or any) belief system- and sometimes there might just be some healing in showing up.
I attend services regularly, although different church than my parents. I also try to live a life based on ethical and spiritual values such as compassion for the poor and others in need, although am far from perfection in that arena.
Yes
No. My parents are both atheist/agnostic, and religion was, in fact, a subject of derision for my immediate family. Despite sharing those attitudes for most of my childhood, I was very spiritually curious and loved to attend temple with Jewish friends, church with Christian and Catholic friends (if I didn't think I was going to have conversion attempts hurled at me), and learn about the practice of friends who were of Wikkan or other non-Abrahamic traditions. Apparently my parents' lack of the "God gene" skipped me. I do have aunts, uncles, and cousins who are very religious/spiritual.
No. My Father went to a Methodist church and then became a Quaker but my Mum was an agnostic and we rarely talked about my Dad's faith.
I did grow up in a religiously observant family. I maintain daily devotions and Bible reading, yoga as a spiritual practice, church attendance, and mission through the Salvation Army ministry and knitting ministry at St. Paul's.
a. If so, what if any spiritual practices do you maintain?
Passover is my favorite holiday, hands down! If I do not celebrate Passover, it feels as if Spring has not arrived and I am not spiritually energized to engage the season of summer.
In terms of spirituality (as opposed to religious observance), I learnt from my parents to accept all people and never to assume that you know what it is like to be anyone else. I learnt that it is good to love people who other people find it hard to love. Both my parents still practice this and I admire it greatly in them.
I’ve stayed within the same denomination I was raised in; music remains fundamental to my experience of the divine. When we say grace before a meal (sadly, less often that I mean to), we use the same blessing from when I was a child (which comes from my mother’s Congregational and Baptist roots, rather than my father’s Episcopalian roots), and attending church together at Christmas and Easter remain important family events.
5. What makes you angry?
Honestly, my husband's ex-wife. Child abuse (my parents have been fostering for over 20 years), feeling as if my opinion is discounted.
The poverty and suffering of the majority caused by the concentration of wealth in the hands of a tiny minority. War. Sexual violence. Domestic violence. Culturally and politically sanctioned violence that targets the poor and oppressed. Police brutality. Islamophobia. Wishy-washy theology that fast-forwards to forgiveness without first atoning for sin and seeking justice for the abused.
The war against the poor. Trans women of color and sex workers being murdered without anyone caring. The prison-industrial complex. The military-industrial complex. Theological “education” that’s about telling people what they should think or how they should behave. The silence around intimate partner violence. Rape culture. Rapes. Rape not being taken seriously as real violence. The insane destruction of life and human rights that is taking place on the U.S./Mexican border. Straight, white, college-educated, middle-class, married, cisgendered, able-bodied men pretending like they are the revolution. The careless devastation of our earth and its shocking, life-giving beauty. Wastefulness. Corporate power and the increasing irrelevance of mainstream media. Being told to tone it down. Being told that “women make lovely associates, but we wouldn’t want one for our rector.” The domestication of the Gospel.
social and ecological injustice
Hateful and bigoted people, especially if they call myself Christians.
Arrogance and insensitivity. I feel society's focus on the "self" has become destructive. Commuting, to me, is the easiest example. We all have the common goal of trying to get somewhere safely.
I am tremendously angry, frustrated, and unhappy with a lot of the nastiness in the Episcopal Church. I'm not very good at schism. It's an occupational hazard of being an ecumenist. I find the level of vitriol and rhetoric on both sides of this conflict to be disillusioning and depressing, and the ecclesiastical blogosphere generally drives me to despair with the sheer amount of nastiness and name-calling that goes on--from both sides. I am angry that there seems to be less and less money for ministry but plenty of money for lawsuits.
I am frustrated by the fact that no one in the Episcopal Church takes me seriously, and that I am still basically seen as a child at 28. I am relatively young, yes, but I am not completely incompetent. I've taught at seminaries in Ukraine and Iraq, and it's hard for me to go from being in positions of leadership there only to return to my own church where everyone either ignores me or tokenizes and patronizes me. Even when I am able to be involved in church leadership, I find that my colleagues repeatedly address me as "honey", "sweetheart" and "dear", and ask me to make the coffee.
As far as I can tell, the church basically wants young adults to be starry-eyed and idealistic and optimistic so that we can be trotted out on occasion to say hopeful things about the future, but they certainly don't want us to actually do anything. And anyway, I lost that sense of naive optimism years ago. When it comes to the church I am pretty cynical, bitter, disillusioned, and filled with despair. But no one wants to hear that, of course!
I no longer have any desire to be ordained, but I once did and was very frustrated by being repeatedly told that I was too young and should come back in a couple of decades. Now I am more frustrated by the fact that ordination is pretty much just a reward for endorsing and protecting the institution. I still hope to become a nun, but have been repeatedly told by convents that I am much too young and that they would never consider anyone under 30, which means that I've been just a wannabe nun for almost 5 years now.
I am frustrated that when the church remembers to talk about young adults, they want to put us all in the same category and assume that we all like the same things. We're a very diverse group. For every young adult who thinks we need a new prayer book with liturgies that are more modern, there is another who prefers Rite 1. I know plenty of young adults who think we need a new hymnal, but there are also a lot of us who think that the 1940 hymnal is totally awesome.
I don't really do feelings. I guess, like, rape and when people think that Big Ideas in art are more important than craft and technique. So things that don't make any sense. I feel a little bad for putting those two things right next to each other like they are equal.
Indirectly: Lack of sleep. Directly: lying
people who are mean to other people or treat others unfairly
Injustice. The political trajectory our country seems to be taking. The worst, though, is apathy. Apathy kills a society more than anything. All of the divisiveness is natural. Unhealthy, but understandable. Apathy, though, means a person doesn't care about injustice. Obsession with money.
Injustice and close-mindedness. I know a large part of this comes from growing up among Evangelicals (not to say they're awful, they have their good and bad like anyone else). Watching the Invisible Children documentary really shocked me, and going to Mexico also had a similar effect. I think movements like Invisible Children, and working to end poverty appeal to people my age because there is this mentality that says we're still young and can have an impact if we want to.
The way we treat prisoners; the way plastic is continually made with little thought; the way we hurt the environment; the way that we trending towards a place where 2% of the population will be the extreme haves and everyone else will be the have-nots.
I've recently learned that my one year old son can! ;)
Seriously though, I become angry when I see cruelty- toward me or anyone else. And cruelty can be so sneaky, it's seldom overt. Selfish, thoughtless, cowardly actions- people are so much more cruel to each other than we need be.
I also find myself angry watching other parents- people who scream at their children or smack them for just being kids...i'm angry just thinking of it.
When people my age assume that because I attend church I am somehow a fundamentalist or a serious evangelical, or that somehow I am naive. Rowan Williams...I think he's an apologist for the RC church and the conservative branch of the Anglican Church and I do not feel represented by him. Factions in churches who are unwilling to admit that young people are growing up into a position of leadership and who are unwilling to provide support for youth (not a problem at St Clare's but I saw this attitude in some of the congregation at St Stephen's in Laurelhurst). People who are intolerant of different ways of being faithful Christians.
Injustice. Hypocrisy. Uniformity. Negativity. Especially when it shuts down other people's positivity.
This is a difficult question. There are so many potential answers, but I am learning that I do not find anger to be the most helpful response to things that upset me. The simplest answer is: what makes me angry is when people are not treated with respect and dignity. This includes everything from language and/or behavior that is racist/sexist/ageist/ableist/etc to humor that is founded in making fun of other people. This also applies to when we, as individuals and as groups, let our greed cause us to take advantage of other people. I am not inclined to believe strongly in huge, rapid shifts toward progress in these areas. On the contrary, I believe that real, long-term movement toward respectful and dignified treatment of all people results from individuals taking small actions. So, yes, I would like Dominion Virginia Power to invest in more sustainable fuel and use less coal, but, really, I'd rather my sister and everyone else in Virginia just turn out the damned lights when they leave a room.
Dishonestly, inconsiderate behavior, exclusionary or hateful beliefs or practices, thoughtlessness, injustice.
Injustice and inequality - especially among people marginalized based on their income level, gender, race, and sexual orientation.6. Where do you find hope?
In my relationship with God, my family, the youth that I work with, long walks on mountain trails.
In the people in my life and work who refuse to lay down and die when their public benefits are cut off and their homes are foreclosed. In the elders in my congregation who are unafraid to sass and learn new things. In the young people in my congregation who are unafraid to sass and learn new things. In Rahab. In the Syrophoenician woman. In the Ethiopian Eunuch. In Mary Magdalene.
Feminist blogs. Fat acceptance blogs. Sex workers organizing. People speaking their truth. Poor people organizing against politicians who want to balance the budget on their backs. Hip hop shows where the beat floods everyone's bodies. Radical queer culture. Womanist theologians, most especially Traci West, who is the BEST. Amazing friendships with phenomenal people. People making beautiful lives in incredibly difficult circumstances. People who speak truth to power. Small rural communities where people disagree with one another but know they are dependent upon one another in a basic, physical way, and protect each other. Spring coming and tiny buds on trees. Being a newlywed and having a really good time getting to know the person I promised to share my life with. The radical equality we proclaim in the Eucharistic feast. Jesus messing with everyone’s expectations and insisting on the priority of the most hurt, the most marginalized, the most devastated.
- our shared vulnerability - we all need to eat - food is our common weakness - food brings people together - there is power in growing food with others and sharing meals together
- forming connections with others, especially those seemingly different
- my nieces and nephews - their sense of wonder and openness to life
- finding beauty in unexpected places
In the joy and love at my church.
) Most times it’s the small things I observe during the day: someone holding up traffic to let someone cross the street, courtesy between people, & the pastel colors of sunrise and sunset.
I'm not terribly good at hope. Honestly, I am usually filled with despair about the future of the church. But to the extent that I have found hope at all, it was in Iraq. I asked my students, teenagers and young men in their 20's in formation for the priesthood and young sisters, whether they had any hope for the future of the church in Iraq. None of them did. When I asked why they continued to stay and to serve the church, one of them answered, "Well, of course there is no hope. But what else am I supposed to do, just sit in my room?" And with that I was profoundly convicted, and it was a reminder of the need to get back to work, whether there is any hope or not.
But I do find hope in the witness of my students, in their profound faithfulness. Most of them have lost family members and friends in the violence against Christians in Iraq, but they show the most profound courage, and also incredible leadership. They say that they have no hope, and yet they continue to get up each day and live as though they did. They don't believe that they can bring peace to Iraq or rebuild the church there, and yet they've dedicated their lives to faithfully trying anyway.
I also find hope in my current parish, even though we struggle with lack of money and low attendance and all the rest of that. The liturgy is beautiful, but far more important, the people there really love each other. And my priest is awesome. While I could give a lot of reasons why, the most important is simply that I know he prays for us. A lot. And that really matters. I'm pretty cynical about clergy generally, but my priest is awesome. No politicking, never any bullshit. Just of a lot of honesty and faithfulness and struggle on our behalf and prayer.
My life isn't very hard and I'm in college learning to do potentially whatever I want and I'm usually either really content or too busy to notice I'm not so I don't think about hope that much. I guess you probably still need hope even when you aren't worried but, well, see the above comment about feelings.
I find hope in certain people that I meet, and those I get to know better. I find hope in the happiness of children, and watching them grow/ learn/ mature.
In the kindness of others, when people work together
In my church, among my the activists in my generation, and the first or second wave of feminist theologians and pastors. Most importantly I find hope in the Risen Christ, of which all of those I listed before are representatives. It is only because I believe in the power of the Life, Death, Resurrection, and Return of Christ that I am able to commit as fully. I couldn't do all that I do without that support. I find hope in the Eucharist, the coming together around the table, our altar.
In people who are vulnerable. When someone is willing to take a chance, unsure of what the outcomes might be, and try to make change, spend time with a person no one else bothers to talk to, or whatever it may be. Those sorts of people really stand out to me as an indicator that we have a good God, and that there is always hope.
People. God. Nature. Art.
I don't know. I haven't been very hopeful recently.
In being a part of a vibrant faith community. In taking communion. In the recharging I get by going to church. In seeing how God influences my life in amazing and sometimes very disconcerting ways and feeling that I am in some way on the road I was meant to travel (if that makes any sense).
In my students and in my friends who continue to fight for equity.
I find hope in the dignity of older people. I find hope in women who survive and thrive in dire circumstances. I find hope in knowing that I am connected to all people and that they are all connected to me. I find hope in knowing that I am small in comparison to the universe. My Christian faith is founded in the belief (relief!) that I am not God and, therefore, that I do not have to be perfect; this knowledge gives me the greatest hope.
In God, in my loved ones, in the lives of strangers and friends.
In the person of Jesus. In fearless theology. In the historical fact that things that seem impossible to change can change. In people- all around me, every day, all the time.7. What advice would you give the Church today?
God is so much bigger than what we can possibly imagine. I will use the words in a song by JJ Heller titled "Small":
Cardboard cutouts on the floor
People wish that you were more like what they wanted you to be
Eventually they won’t have much of you at all in their theology
The walls are closing in on you
You cannot be contained at all
I don’t want to make you small
I don’t want to fit you in my pocket
A cross around my throat
You are brighter than the sun
You’re closer than the tiny thoughts I have of you
But I could never fathom you at all
Broken moldings all around
Broken people hit the ground
When they discover that you’re not here for our benefit
You love in spite of us
You use the least of us to prove the strong aren’t really strong at all
Turn up the Isaiah 58, turn down the navel-gazing, and dance dance dance.
Stop caring about being nice and start caring about being just. The Gospel never asked us to be nice. The Gospel demands that we be good.
i've experienced a church growing with younger people when it reflects the community-based interests of the place, particularly around local food clubs and sustainable agriculture. there are also a lot of organizations out there that are already doing those things, and the risk is over-programming your church, right? i need to think on this more. my lens for looking at the world is often filtered through: how are my decisions building connections within the community, and how are they breaking them down or ignoring them? how is the church being really honest about its role in environmental concerns, which include social, ecological, and economic equity? this is tough. maybe asking these questions is a beginning.
Don't try to imitate the fundamentalist megachurches. We should keep what's unique about Epsicopalianism. At the same time, don't be stuck to doing things "by the book." Be ready to try something new. Think about how a newcomer might see us.
Focus on what we do and why we do it. Don't worry about what other churches are doing or how to grow congregations. What really draws me to the Episcopal church is, what I perceive, its flexibility and willingness to challenge its own theology. Perhaps it is just a difference in my age and the way I now engage the church, but I recall my experience at FBC as mostly being preached at.
Stop the nastiness. Seriously, stop it. I do not want to hear vitriol and name-calling about conservative Anglicans, Roman Catholics, or fundamentalists any more than I want to hear that sort of thing about gay and lesbian people.
While you're at it, stop all of the litigation. I don't care if the Episcopal Church is legally in the right. It doesn't do any good to save a bunch of buildings if you create an atmosphere of conflict and animosity that drives people away so that there are no people to put in the buildings! Honestly, if most of my non-Episcopal friends know only one thing about the Episcopal Church, it's the fact that we are having a schism and that we're all suing one another. That looks really bad. Frankly, it's embarrassing. I don't even want to invite people to come to my church if I know that they're probably not going to hear the Gospel and are instead going to have to listen to us squabbling. I love my church building, but if it came down to it, I would much rather worship in my priest's living room than in a building that was won through a bitter legal dispute.
Actually include young adults in your churches instead of sending them off to the young adult corner to do things with other young adults. Church is one of the only times in my life that I get to hang out with people who are not in my age demographic, and I love that. I love building relationships with older men and women, who have been mentors to me, and also with kids. I never had brothers or sisters, and never had close relationships with my grandparents, and so those relationships matter a lot. Get serious about letting young adults take leadership in ministry, whether ordained, or monastic, or lay, or whatever, instead of always thinking about ministry to young adults. I think most of us want to be places where we're actually allowed to make a contribution and taken seriously, so I would think less about trying to be the church you think young adults want, and more about having enough courage to put young adults in positions of leadership.
Also, pray more. However your church does it--whether daily mass or the daily office or something else. God knows we need it, and the world needs it, and the parishes that I've known that are the healthiest are the ones that insist on making daily corporate worship a priority. Even if 2 people come. The fact that a church is willing to prioritize that makes a difference far beyond the number of people in attendance.
What do you care about? Nobody cares about that but you. Is it important enough for you to beg other people to prioritize it higher than cupcakes?
I mean, yeah, people within the Church need to sort out living together in the Church, and I get that, but I don't really want to listen to them do it and I do really want to feel the Holy Spirit breathing on my shoulders and make sure that actual people have enough to eat and learn things.
Love everyone and accept everyone. Don't judge a book by it's cover. Mistakes are perfect.
include youth/young adults in planning of church events, provide child care, make church more than just a service on Sunday - plan events/services all the time - make the church a family
Be bold. Say what you believe, AND do it. The Episcopal Church does a fantastic job not talking about itself properly. We're that friend at the party who hates talking about themselves, partly because we are going through an identity crisis. Don't be afraid to value our traditions, especially our traditional liturgy, and to pass them on. At the same time, don't be afraid to innovate. Find ways to localize the traditional liturgy. How does it fit into each community's heritage and identity? How can it re-shape those communities? Make the important connection between our liturgies and our commitment to social justice. We also need to be more imaginative in our actions, whether that's how we engage our local communities or how, as a diocese or a church, we engage the world. Dream big. God will provide.
Live simply, genuinely, and honestly. I heard a sermon that talked about the Eucharist, and how the word essentially means "good gift". If we all live as individual Eucharists, broken for the world, poured out for the purposes of healing, reconciliation, and love then the Church is doing a beautiful work.
Be your genuine self for that is the best there is.
Embrace mysticism and go deeper- not cool and contemporary.
Make sure your music is the best it can possibly be. I've lived in five states in 18 months- in every new town I start the church search over again. And the music program usually determines whether or not I will give a place a second Sunday.
Every church should have a community garden if possible. Growing things together- sharing a harvest- builds deep bonds in the community. I remember watching one boy in a church in NC- at a church lunch he proudly declared "I'm eating OUR carrots!" Even peole who never got their hands dirty loved the sense of family that little garden gave them.
Don't worry about doing big stuff. Just be really good at small stuff.
Use that theory in every way it can apply. Sing simple songs well.
Skip the grand mission trips and make your own town better- there are people hurting all over the world and right next to you. A full, cozy small worship space feels better than a mostly empty but grand space.
Involve kids in EVERY way. Liturgy planning. Reading. Illustrating art to go with readings. Prayers of the people. STOP treating children like a separate class of people who are somehow less capable than adults. Remember, if church is boring for kids, it might just be boring adults too. Look to a kindergarten class to figure out how to plan your next liturgy. Use good stories. Pictures. Music. Movement.
Some quiet time and some excited time...
Do not abandon sacred tradition in a crazy rush to attract "youth". The church loses its soul when it abandons the sacred for the flashy and cool. If the only option I had was one of those new non-denominational mega churches, I would not go to church. I love the beautiful old traditions and language of the Episcopal church. But, don't be rigid in holding on to traditions that no longer make sense. Holy Eucharist is taken from a chalice, not from individual dixie cups and the sermon should not be dumbed down to make it more palatable, however sometimes traditions need to die so that others, no less sacred, can live. Be open to the suggestions of youth. Remember that we are not trying to attract everyone, and that it's ok to have a smaller congregation that is solid rather than a large congregation that has no real ties to the church or to each other. Preach the gospel of love but don't make it too easy, Christianity is not an easy faith nor should it be. We should be comforted and challenged throughout our lives in faith. Be authentic. Be open. Set limits but encourage dialogue and sometimes even conflict is necessary for growth.
Live the Gospel. I do not mean this flippantly.Do not be afraid of the Bible (this goes especially for "liberal" or "progressive" churches).
The Church appears to struggle with what to make of individuals between the ages of “not high school” and “parent.” I don’t know if this is an issue with the way the Church structures its ministries around life-stages or not, but I feel that people at my stage of life (late-twenties, married but no children) aren’t attending church in large numbers in part because, when we arrive no one has a “box” to put us in, and therefore we’re left feeling a bit as if we aren’t wanted. When that happens, a lot of people simply stop going to church, or they become like me and stubbornly stick it out with different strategies – for example, even though I’ve been a parishioner for the past 6 years at the same church, I’ve been very active in Christian Education and a regular attendee of the large morning service, parishioners who I have seen every week for years still assume I must be new. In short, I would encourage the church to consider the ways it divides a congregation in order to minister more effectively, or rather, or re-evaluate if it is indeed living out its mission by doing so.
I would also add that even though I’m a young person in the church, I like organ music and traditional hymns. I’ve always found congregations that use “new” music to try to attract young people uncomfortable.
I think that personal connections are so important, especially for those who are beginning to establish households away from their immediate families. Please think of us when establishing groups, Bible studies, picture directories, and the like so may fully participate in church life.
People will know you by the love you have for one another. Don't judge success by numbers, but serve and love the community that is already with you.
Don't try to love people with services or committees or programs, but with genuine relationships.
Be yourself!
Treat "young people" as individuals who are inherently valuable--not because of what we can potentially contribute but because we have God's breath of life in us.
Do not assume that "young people" are entitled. I work a full-time job; keep a house; contribute at church; house my younger sister for minimal rent; pay taxes; vote; drive an old, unattractive and uncomfortable car; worry about supporting my parents and parents-in-law in the future; and much, much more. The only things I feel entitled to are dignity and respect.
Remember our names.
Fight the belief that any one young person can represent "us" as a group. The corollary to this is that the Church must make a conscious effort to include all of us in all aspects of church life, as each of us feels called.
Experiment with worship, but within the rich and varied traditions of Anglicanism. If we wanted all praise bands all the time, for example, we would find our way to another tradition.
What a terrific post, Greg! Thank you very much.
I hope a lot of people read it--I am passing it on.
Have a good Holy Week and a delightful Easter,
Pierre
Posted by: Bppwhalon | April 18, 2011 at 01:45 AM
I think it is plenty odd that we ask these questions and treat young adults as if they can speak for each other. If you read this list, you'd think they are all interested in social justice. Let me introduce you to the investment banker wannabes. Some of whom happen to be Episcopalians. They just didn't respond here.
Would we assume there is anything you can learn about 70-year-olds by asking the opinions of a few of them? What do Mick Jagger and a golfing retiree in Florida have in common? Or the aging hippee and a tea partier. Why do we keep assuming we can do this with one age cohort, while knowing we can't do it for all?
I think we forget that our churches are one slice of previous generations too. While some in their 60's were choosing to be Episcopalians, others were becoming Unitarians, or Methodists, or opting out altogether. There were just more of us deciding to land in mainline churches back then.
I can identify young people who prefer high Anglican liturgy and gregorian chant and those who would never set foot in a Christian service, regardless of type. I think we'll drive ourselves nuts if we keep letting a few stand in for the whole.
This was mentioned by one or two commenters, but it is in danger of being lost amid a flood of words that purport to answer the question, "What do young people want?"
Posted by: Terry | April 18, 2011 at 07:00 AM
Dear Terry,
Well said, just as i normally do when I speak of this. My note always is to say that no generation is unidimensional and in fact some like to answer survey's and questions, some prefer to comment after others do. I hope those that read it would not look at details as much as the underlying hope for the character of the church, which to me seems to be, to be authentic, real, whatever you do, do it well. Not necessarily a new idea but one not many have tried yet. Your response will help bolster that point. Happy Investment banking.
Posted by: Bishop Rickel | April 18, 2011 at 10:26 AM
I found myself feeling grateful for this flow of words and I kept thinking about--imagining--each individual who was responding. Of course the "information" received is all anecdotal, and it would be foolish to develop policy and practice based on the responses of Greg's FB Friends (although, Greg, the variety of responses would indicate you have a wonderfully interesting mix of "friends"). Nevertheless, without trying to sound silly, there is something universal in these particulars. 30 years ago I was what we call a "young adult" in the church. I was also married, starting seminary, working 2 jobs, fascinated by possibility. And 30 years ago I was drawn to liturgy and sacrament, mysticism and social action; I wanted community and connection and I wanted to see my peers in my Episcopal church. Today I still don't see Episcopal congregations flooded with 22 year olds--but there are plenty of 22 year olds alive and well and seeking something "good." There may be a myriad of reasons, but I don't think we really understand those reasons. And I think "we"--the institution--are fearful about those reasons. Let's face it, if this has been a consistent problem for us, then the systemic change required will be pretty unsettling because our patterns of resistance are rooted pretty deeply. But still, it's a powerful question. It's worth asking often, and in as many contexts as possible--with as many particular people as possible. There is something to learn--and I think the learning could be transformative.
Posted by: Bill Harper | April 19, 2011 at 09:55 AM
Bishop Rickel-
As someone active in campus and YA activities in Eastern WA, let me first say "thanks for listening!" YA's know what they want and don't want from THEIR church and all too often elders in our respective tribes simply do not ask and do not internalize the responses. Our tradition has a mixed track record on responses, but my hope is that House of Bishops will continue to discern WITH young adult members and those outside our circles as well. Thank you!
Posted by: P Mixter | April 19, 2011 at 10:07 AM
1st of all-the young adults who are writing in have families and sound quite old.
2nd of all-BORING! This type of discussion is what made me run away from the Episcopal church. Church is irrelevant and I can find spiritual nourishment through my community more than I can through the crazy people that still go to church. The only reason church communities still exist is to provide solace and comfort for the people who are too awkward to make friends outside of church. This includes all the narcissists too!
Posted by: Expiscopalian | April 19, 2011 at 12:25 PM
Bishop Rickel,
I'm glad the House of Bishops is asking these questions. I'm glad you encouraging us not to make generalizations about what young adults want. When I was a young adult I didn't want anyone putting me in any box, either. I'm conflicted in how I view all of this, of course. I'm invested in the Pension Fund and make all my living from serving the Episcopal Church. At the same time, I am convinced that the Episcopal Church could die if we give ourselves over to institutional anxiety about survival, instead of receiving the Kingdom of God. I'm convinced that if we cease being of use to the Kingdom of God, we'll die away, and deservedly so. Here's to a commitment to deep biblical truth, deep sacramental life, and a challenge to the vapid culture of America.
Posted by: Jonathan | April 20, 2011 at 02:10 PM